A special thank you to Felicia for sharing her vulnerable and loving words. Without further ado, Felicia…
This Boudoir Shoot Was A Gift For My Husband On Our Wedding Day, But Its Turned Out To Be A Gift For Myself And A True Blessing In Disguise.
Days Leading Up To My Boudoir I Thought About Cancelling It. I Was Feeling Discouraged As I Wasn’t Where I Wanted To Be, Like Most Woman I Struggle With Body Image Insecurities. I Was Going Through A Very Difficult Time In My Life I Was Trying To Plan A Wedding, Succeed In My New Role At Work, Move Out On My Own For The First Time And Keep My Anorexia Nervosa Under Wraps. My Anxiety Was Getting The Best Of Me Days Before This Shoot I Was In Double Digits For Weight And The Lingerie I Had Purchased For This Shoot Months In Advance Was Now Too Loose. My Self Esteem At This Point Was Non Existent To Say The Least. I Was Already Anxious For This Shoot As It’s So Out Of My Character But I Wanted To Do Something Totally Unexpected For My Husband On Our Wedding Day. I Wanted Him To See Me In A Different Way Going Into This Wedding I Wanted To Leave A Ever Lasting Image Just Before We Said “I Do”. I Wanted Him To See Me In A Different Way, A Sexy Way Because I Am That Track Pant, No Makeup, Baggy Sweater Type Woman Who’s Hiding Her Bones Everyday Of The Week.
April 13th ,2018, The Day I Was Dreading Was Finally Here, I Woke Up Packed My Suitcase And Made My Way Downtown Toronto. When I Arrived To The Loft Jessy Welcomed Me With A Hug Little Did She Know That’s Just What I Needed That Day. She Said Don’t Be Nervous Your Going To Be Great And Your Husband Will Love This Little Black Book. I Had Then Told Her All About My Mental Illnesses And My Body Insecurities She Then Had Reassured Me That I Had Nothing To Worry About. I Went Into The Bathroom To Change Into My First Outfit And When I Came Out Jessy Was There With A Bottle Of Champagne And A Personal Card.
Our First Look Was Me In My Wedding Intimates With My Veil And Accessories The First Few Shots I Looked Like A Deer In Headlights. I’m Not The Type Of Woman Who Is Comfortable Posing In Front Of Any Camera, And I Was Feeling Awkward Not Sexy. However, All My Doubts And Fears Completely Disappeared Once I Put All My Trust Into Jessy. She Had A Special Way Of Making Me Feel Like I Was The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. I Never Had To Worry About What To Do With My Body In Each Shot, As Jessy Had A Vision And She Told Me Exactly How To Pose, Where To Look And Even What Expression I Should Have On My Face She Was The Goddess With The Camera Nailing Every Angle. She Even Had The Best One-Liners To Make Me Laugh For The Natural Smile That Photographs Perfectly.
Come The Second Outfit Change I Was Soaring With Confidence For The First Time In Years I Felt Confident And Jessy Was Making Me Feel Empowered, Excited, Sexy And Strong. I Couldn’t Tell You The Last Time I Felt Any One Of Those Feelings Let Alone All At Once. I Walked Into The Loft Unsure Of What Would Happen, And Left With A New Friend! That’s How Comfortable Jessy Made Me Feel Needless To Say I Am So Glad I Went Through With This.
A Month Later Jessy And I Met Up To Shoot My Engagement Pictures Little Did She Know She Was Meeting With A Totally Different Woman From Last Month. I Had Walked Into This Second Shoot With Confidence And Better Health. That Boudoir Shoot Was Just What I Needed I Was Feeling Sexy In My Own Skin Again And That Gave Me The Confidence I So Desperately Needed. This Shoot Gave Me Life And I Have Pictures That I Will Get To Love And Stare At For The Rest Of My Life. I Looked Amazing, But Most Importantly I Felt Amazing. I am Forever Grateful This Opportunity Jessy This Is One I Will Never Forget And I Highly Recommend All To This Uplifting Experience.
Love You Dearly,
Felicia Spinelli Xx